You're TOXIC!

Does your partner verbally put you down in front of others? Do they say they love you, but their actions say otherwise? Is your partner controlling – reading your mail or constantly “checking up” on you? Do they try to convince you that you cannot do anything on your own, to make you dependent on them? Have you changed things about yourself just to please them? If you answered yes to these questions, then keep reading to learn more about how to tell if you are in a toxic relationship, and how to change that.

Toxic relationships follow a cycle. Everything is going great and life could not be better; Then there is an argument that leads to a blow out; Then comes the reconciliation, and everything is fine again; And then it all starts over again. This cycle continues over and over again. There are promises of change, but the change never lasts.

When you and your partner first get together, you are seeing everything through rose colored glasses. Life is wonderful. It is only after they have blinded you with love, that the toxic relationship begins. By then, you are in too deep. Your emotions are playing with your mind and with your heart. You know that you are in a toxic relationship, but you keep hoping things will get better.

One reason for this is that many people grow up in this kind of toxic environment. So, as adults, they tend to seek out this same kind of relationship, without even realizing what they are doing. Their minds are programmed to believe that this is what a relationship should be. There are others who feel that they can change their partner. This usually does not work.

In order to get out and stay out of a toxic relationship, the first step is to realize is that you have choices. You are in control of your own life. Once you realize this, the next step is to stand up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has made you believe that it is all your fault. Do not believe it. If you start believing this, it will only make it that much more difficult for you to walk away.

For some people, therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these relationships. Some leave these toxic relationships and form new, healthier bonds. But there are some who are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it. The truth is that most relationships can be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little time apart. Other times, it takes counseling. If you are both willing to make an attempt, it is possible to build a stronger, healthier relationship.

The first thing that you need to decide for yourself is that the relationship has to change, or you are willing to walk away. If you are not willing to walk away from a toxic relationship, you are going to be stuck in this situation with no chance of change. Once you have made this decision, do not nag your partner. Simply let them know that if they are not willing to work with you to make your relationship healthier, you are willing to walk away.

A healthy, strong and loving relationship takes work from both parties. A toxic relationship is only working for the benefit of one partner. The toxic partner. You have the power to change this. You have choices. If the toxic partner realizes that you are willing to exercise your options, then they will begin to examine the relationship from your point of view. If they are not willing to do this, and you really want to be in a happy, healthy relationship, then you have no choice but to walk away.