Memories
At many cuts of life, we’d stop for a second or two to think if everything is flowing in the correct direction. We all question our own actions. We doubt ourselves too at times. Well, doubts breed doubts. In the end, it’ll just be a pool of hesitation.
To come to think of it, I hesitated an awful lot. I am not scared to make mistakes, but fear that I will dissapoint the people that I care for so much. Only if life like acting, we can have two’s and tea breaks.
We all know that we should always appereciate, but often, we forget this simple philosophy. If you are lucky, you’ll gain it back right after you realize it’s gone. In my case, I realizes it all along, but never had the power to take it back into my arms. I observed very closely how it got bad and felt the cold blood rushing through my veins. Regularly, I would fall into dreamcastles, hoping it was just a nightmare.
I would fret from dawn till midnight, even after I shut my eyes tight. I just let it happen helplessly. I tried to think emphatically that every broken chip will fall back into its place, but no. Life is not a joke.
When you can laugh till you cry, when you are floating on cloud-nine, when you are having fun with a bunch of buddies, when pure lame jokes could get you high on chortle, you are very, very fortunate.
One little thing could turn all that around like a Ferris wheel. It will slam you like a big amberschool bus. It’ll give you scars to remember and lose blood impotently, to perceive how it is like to have your life hanging by thread.
You can lose a diamond necklace. You can lose blood. You can lose your mobile phone. You can lose control. Th emost bitter thing you could lose is your memory. Even losing your last breath wouldn’t be as agonizing. Could you envisage one morning, looking at your reflaction in the mirror and not knowing who’s staring back? Everything will be monochrome.
Life without a memory is as a novel without a storyline or a CPU without its motherboard. No direction nor sense of security. i wish there was a take two for me. And a make-up artist. At least I won’t look hideous moving seconds closer to anguish. I am vain, even when I peace out. Because I don’t know when my best moment will be, I want every moment to be at its best.
Human do not realize what’s important to them until it hits them between the eyes.
